"I bought you this present, it's a little girly. I hope you like it" *Not impressed*
I always end up having these "fights" with my friends and acquaintances every time they say "You look girly". or "Wow you look like a girl in that dress". I always get so offended when someone says "Is that you?" when they see a picture of me in a saree. To which most people say "It was a compliment that you look beautiful". Most people don't seem to get that calling someone girly or feminine is not a compliment. You are calling me "Occasionally" feminine. You've reduced my gender to a bunch of preconceived notions; sadly all of which are based on ideas that aren't even your own.
General things you'd associate with women would be pink, delicate, quiet, sober, mysterious, "shallow", emotional and cheesy, having no sense of humour. Not that any of these characteristics are wrong. But who you are as a person is like picking from a buffet table of characteristics, you are tailor made and there is not one kind of woman.
I've not had too many girl friends, just very few women who thought it was okay to be the way I was without wanting to wear a ton of floral prints. But in my brief interaction with well meaning individuals, I often find them telling me I should look more feminine. I should wear a certain kind of clothes, I should talk a certain way or I should behave in a manner that will compliment the "beautiful woman" I am capable of being. While I have no issues with those florals or whatever, I have a problem with being expected to agree that certain things are 'feminine; and certain others are masculine. I have a huge problem with being told that I'm not a good enough sample of my gender, because I'm not living it to my full potential. (Of course all of this will be out rightly rejected if I said it like this to them)
My femininity is damn intact and I will not have anyone question it, especially because I choose to pick a slightly different shade of pink. When I tell people I love blue over pink, I get the look. I know it's childish that I even notice these things and I should know better. But to be called a guy because I choose a different color? That's the stupidest thing I've heard. Here's the clincher, they are not trolls, they are well meaning individuals, they are well wishers, family and friends. That's what makes it worse, I have no idea why decent people are so blinded by some vague idea that being a woman is a checklist of things.
Here's the fun bit, I love manicures, pedicures, I love make up, I love my dresses and my sarees and for the love of god I love I love my long hair. But as a human being I have no patience for it on a daily basis and I want the world to be okay it.
Why am I ranting about this? It happened again. I was told to "feminine up" and frankly I'm all the woman there needs to be. Baggy shirts and trousers are exactly the kind of woman I want to be.
