You won't die without your phone!

"We believe that the world will stop functioning if we decided to  stop"

We would like to believe that world singularly revolves around us. But rude wake up call! No it doesn't. I have an obsessive need to keep in touch. It's not like I want to be updated on where one is eating or who one is out with, hell I don't care enough about that sort of thing, but I'm constantly thinking of what's possibly wrong that someone doesn't reply. Honestly, it's very discomforting that people don't instantly reply. But the problem is that my need for wanting quick replies is very personal. 

So today my phone decided to start doing weird things, switching off on it's own and crashing a few times and whatnot, so I was generally slow in replying to messages, FB comments, Twitter and my emails. And guess what? Nothing major changed! I didn't die because my phone stopped working. 

Now one thing that I've always strongly felt and today even more so is that, it is good that with technology you are connected, but to be obsessively so? Not really. To keep away from whatsapp or facebook once in a while, *consciously* is very important. Of course I've not made the effort to do that until very recently. 

It's not that people don't matter, hell! I pretty much survive on a daily basis thanks to them, but I realise that it's not enough. If you cannot be on your own for a few hours, each day without people, without facebook, twitter, whatsapp. You're doing technology wrong. If you constantly feel the need to reach out to people, you're doing life wrong. I realised this the hard way. Each day, in the last few days, I've tried to be on my own. for a few hours during the day where all I do is be by myself. No people. Zero contact. This has had absolutely no repercussions on my relationships, in fact it's made things a tad bit simpler. I have the "my time". I read, I sit by the window. I write prompts in my book. No ping, no tweet,  no comment distracts me. This is still something I'm growing into. Obviously, During this 2 hour slot, I talk only if I'm talked to. And it does wonders. 

I miss people. I do. But I've decided to stop giving people/technology control of my time. You may think this post is slightly headed in the negative direction but trust me it's not. It's all part of my attempt of doing the right thing, enjoying the right moments, putting down on paper (virtual) a very real thought. Making it official. See, the problem I faced with my obsessive need to keep in touch is fairly simple, I have to keep myself available. ALL the time. Which means, I have to take time away from things I do. Now, this isn't a people problem, this is a 'me' problem. So when I tell myself to stay away from the internet, I'm making a conscious effort to find 'me time'. Not necessarily reading. Even idling time away where I don't feel the need to 'people'. Where I don't always have people to keep me company, where I think. I'm not using people as a distraction. 

These small things I do for myself I know will help. I know that if I made an effort to take control of my own time, I would do so much more with myself. The problem and solution are in my reach. So all I have to do is make that call. I take an hour or two away for myself, no internet, no texting, no talking. I've decided to not live in the delusion of being occupied when all I've done is waited. That's not real communication. That's wasting time. 

My lesson for today is that I won't die without my phone!