Monday, January 27, 2014

Bob Marley, we have a problem!


Houston we have a problem. I see this picture has gone viral and a LOT of people have been posting this on facebook and twitter. I don't know why the moment I read it, I don't see the cool, make love not war, be happy, peace out baby,  Bob Marley. I see the a very twisted side to things. May be it's just me. But I have to say it. So here goes.

My problem with this quote, let's begin with the first bit "If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's easy, she won't be amazing". Let's start by exactly why this is wrong, I am not a trophy. There is no competition. If I am an amazing person or not, if I am desirable or not is not up for grabs for someone to decide. I don't believe in playing hard to get, I try to be real, I don't know if I'm amazing or if I'm an average person, I don't care if I am. I will not be judged by someone else. and definitely not to be told that I'm "easy".

What's the definition for easy anyway? Is it somebody who'll compromise, is it somebody who'll be meek? is it somebody who'll say what they feel like they feel it? What's easy? somebody who is sexually active? Whose to say what's easy? What's amazing? Is someone who is strong, independent, fierce amazing? is someone whose entire universe revolves around her husband and child amazing? is somebody who lives on her own terms amazing? Really what does easy and amazing mean? Does somebody who believes they can be horrible in a relationship amazing? (Cuz, hey! Not easy).

I think when people share posts like these, I want to get to understand why they shared it. Because most times, I feel like they want to sit on a high chair and say "I'm not easy".   No, nobody is easy. You are not going to "get" people for being nice to them. Its a myth. If you're going to sit and judge people and put them in categories of easy and hard to get, you are going to live a very sad life.

Here's the second bit and this is not me over analyzing, but exactly what is someone worth? Who decided the worth of a person? How did anyone decide I am worth their time? I'm sorry, but since when did "easy" people become not worth someone's time?When did accepting all people with all their flaws and treating them with respect stop being a thing?

This quote is exactly the kind of thing I'm against. Encouraging women to play hard to get, don't say yes. Play busy. Don't be vulnerable. Why in the world would you be so scheming? This exactly the kind of thing you want your men to not do, judge a woman by her readiness to talk, decide if she's easy. Put on a shiny crown and decide if a woman is worth it. If you give up, you're not worthy, hello stalker!

 And the last bit, oh god. Everybody is going to hurt you (Gospel truth). But what,  easy women are not worth the suffering, but supposedly amazing women are worth suffering over? Are you kidding me?  Bob, screw you buddy. I don't really care for the quote.

25 comments:

  1. Weird quote it is indeed! I think the basic criteria is to be careful who you chose to make part of your life. And this form of judgement is definitely our right. We make choices depending upon our likes and dislikes. But yes, generalising like this is politically incorrect, I guess.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey thanks for your comment! :D

      Yes, I don't quite know why, but such generalization seem to fly really well with men and women.

      Delete
  2. Oh I absolutely agree, Maggie. It's absolute rubbish!
    I don't know why we think that every word that issues from a celebrity is quotable! There's also a context, which we may not know of!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Context is everything. But I can't think of a single context in which you would put women in a easy and difficult category.

      Delete
  3. That is a crazy quote. I agree with you on all counts! ♥

    ReplyDelete
  4. I agree with every word of your post. This quote is a disgrace.

    ReplyDelete
  5. It all boils down to how much worth you give yourself, and not let someone else valuation of you get in the way. There will be family, relatives, neighbors, school mates, college mates, work colleagues and so on passing judgement upon how 'amazing', 'dull', or 'easy' you are. Let them blabber and do what you want. simple as that! :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Maggie, I was nodding all through your post. Sometimes even I'd like to get in people's heads and understand why they are posting what they are! Do they really understand? Utter rubbish the quote!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't want to generalize and say they probably don't get it. But I know the people who shared this and I have a feeling it was to prove a point.

      Delete
  7. Agree with your point of view, Maggie...but we really don't know in what context this was said...maybe there's more to it than meets the eye :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope there is. The quote on its own is horrible.

      Delete
  8. This is really in bad taste. But it is so surprising that he said this. I have read many quotes from BM and they are awesome.... but for this one!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Shilpa, I'm not really a BM fan, the no woman, no cry line gets to me. But I know what you mean.

      Delete
  9. Ok, seems like I'm the only guy who's going to comment on this. So please don't shoot me Maggie :) On a separate note, I kind of agree with what you said. It's kind of objectifying women again, by terming them - easy/not easy/hard to get/ worth it et all. But I don't think people actually think about it before they share. They just look at it and go - Bob Marley said this; surely other people will agree :) Most people anyway. Of course I wouldn't want to paint everyone with one brush. Thought provoking post :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. True, I think it's cool to share BM quotes. I also think the frame of mind someone is gets them to share such stuff even, unintentionally. But the point is the internet really endorses stuff like this.

      Delete
  10. oh boy!! I saw this quote too and wondered...
    And you my dear have said it bang on!! Absolutely right!!
    It's so rubbish!!
    So, just because I say it as it is and don't play hard to get in any of my relationships does that make me easy?!! WTF is meant by easy?!
    This is the kind of thing I'm against. Like I said the other day - "I'm not a man hater; I'm an asshole hater! there's a difference"

    ha! You are so right!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ya, women who play "hard to get" what does that even mean? If i'm not interested. I am not interested. I'm not hard to get because I'm impossible to get because I don't want to be gotten. And easy? I don't even want to attempt to guess it.
      I love that quote!

      Delete
  11. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I don't agree. I think..well what I took from it is. When in a relationship it can get tuff. If u love her u will walk thru it maybe at time crawl bcuz mistakes are made by us all..no one is perfect. But if the EASY is that everything is yes yes then where is her value in herself meaning..he cheats or is abusive..and she just excepts it ? How do u value sumone who doesn't value themselves first. And listen that goes both ways I'm sure. Idk just my thot. U have to decided what u willing to take ..

    ReplyDelete
  13. Not only all that, but Marley didn't even coin the first part of the quote ....

    http://properattribution.tumblr.com/post/66251588905/if-shes-amazing-she-wont-be-easy-if-shes

    ReplyDelete
  14. Personally I like this author. Thanks for sharing!!

    ReplyDelete
  15. I think the qoute is about a girl who is amazing, She is amazing for a boy who loves her..not for every body.she is amazing only for him in this entire universe. So if she is so amazing for him then he must try to win her heart by doing all those stuffs of which he can win her heart except hurting her in any ways..His qoute is beyond the level maggie. His qoute is about love,and love is like your name Maggie...It is so complicated,so mixed up,so no matter how much you try to solve ,at the end you might get the answer but never the solution...so he is not spreeding hate, He is just trying to say that go chase your dream,dream do come true ..

    ReplyDelete

Love it or hate it, please go ahead and say it!