Monday, May 20, 2013

The rains and the coming back.

It rained! and I always love when it does. Everything looks washed clean and full of life. A rain is all it took for me to comeback from this dry spell I've been having (writing wise, on this blog). It rained and it rained too loudly for you to even get your thoughts in place. It was windy, the patter of the rain on the windows was making it difficult for me to even look out.

The rains are here, the rains bring respite, the rains bring hope. The dry summer heat has filled me (and everyone) with irritation, anger, a certain desperation and with the downpour today it looked like the wind and rain had taken all that away.

It started pouring at about 6 in the evening, I had just gotten back from work. I was a little agitated anyway because I was hungry and because some days are just so annoying. I just sat there in my big chair, eyes shut, thinking what I'm doing with myself. And just then, thunder, the light breeze had become a little charged and somewhere in my house a window made a loud thud as it hit the frame. I woke up!

I looked out and I thought it must be pouring, I was disappointed when I looked at the pale blue sky and the light brown dust being carried by the wind. I wanted to make myself a cup of coffee and simply retreat into my bed.

And then magic happened!

It started pouring, the rains were here. They were not the rains that I'd witnessed in the last few days, it was not light showers. These were rains, the hindi film romantic rain, the "barish me cham cham' dance tune rains, the 'peheli baarish' rains. This downpour reminded me of the Shubha Mudgal song ' Ab ke saawan'. It felt apropos. I was out (obviously)

The Leaves and the washed perspective on life!
Just then my overly concerned mother who knows if I do end up having a fever I will be a big cry baby! pointed out that I'm better off inside. But I decided to use the old "5 min sleep' bargain with her. "Yes Maa, 5 min" by this time I'm drenched. She knows there is no point in asking me to come in. But just because she is my mother, she chooses to ignore my countless pleas and demands that I get in that very second.  #Enter savior#

My brother just happened to enter at the end of my 5 min in the rain deadline, he suggests we go out for a walk in the rain! I happily obliged. By this time I had forgotten everything, I was IN THE MOMENT! That was a magical thing for me, considering that in the past few months I've been living in the past or in the future. Worrying, fretting, imagining. Now, there was none of that. No thoughts of the future, no grief from the past. I'm not suggesting it'll not comeback. But just then, it wasn't. If rains could cure the hurt, the worries, the troubles both imaginary and real, the monsoons would be considered anti depressants.

A few drops here, a reminder of a few drops there. 

But something more wonderful happened, I was there, all ears. Wanting to make an attempt. I wanted to stop making an excuse for not doing things. The life in those leaves, the croaking of those frogs, the crickets, the gushing of the waters down the drain, the thunder, the lightning all of that was so full of positive energy!

I was transported back to a self where I was a hopeful teenager, full of zeal! I just wanted to do thing. Just do them! Speaking of being a teenager, I was reminded of making paper boats with my family and floating them, especially with my grandmother. Just one of those things you do because it is one of the things you can do!

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