Thursday, October 18, 2012

Yes! I am THAT boring!

Dear People of this World,

I came to think of things about myself and I realize that by conventional standards I am boring. But I am sorry for not being extremely chatty, if I am not comfortable with you. Some days I don't talk, I am not less interested in you, I am less interested in talking to you at that very moment. I am not banning you from my space, just making myself unavailable. It is okay if you think that is weird. May be you think I am being thick and judgmental. I am not, I am trying to think. There are a lot of thoughts that go through my mind and I owe it to them that I think about them. I am not your social butterfly. Don't ever expect me to open up to you . If I don't do it at my pace, I don't do it at all.

I am a reader, Yes! everything about my life revolves around avoiding crowds and loud noises. I want my quiet time. I need to be with myself, to think for myself, to understand, to delve on my thoughts, to think it through. I don't mind it if you write me off as a boring person, atleast be kind enough to not say it to me.  Here is the problem with that. I don't take criticism lightly, I work on it, make sure that if there is a problem I address it. your problem is that I read and I cant do anything about it. So I suggest you do to. When you tell me I am boring because I read, I feel hurt that you do not see what I love. How can you expect me to be interested in all that you say, when you hate me? And by hate me, I mean my choice of books that has largely made me what I am today. I don't feel the need to explain to you that I read because it fills me with a joy, it lets me travel without leaving my house, lets me live lives I will never live, my reading is an escape into a world entirely my own. I get it if you don't understand my obsession but please be sensitive when you call somebody boring.

No, I dont enjoy partying, I don't go out to often either. I love sleeping in on Sunday afternoons, am I bad? Is something wrong with me? Please stop making me want to ask myself this! I am sorry you disapprove of my choices and I see how easy it is to judge me, but you can cut people some slack, can't you?

My life is a series of obsessions, from jigsaws to scrabble, from card games to tetris, I love my books and my music, I love to talk to myself more often than I talk to others. I enjoy coffee and chocolates. When you can accept me for this, why do you think I am less of a girl when I say I like roses on plants?

That is an appeal to be sensitive, while the world I know largely consists of people who accommodate me and my eccentricities, I know a lot of people like me who don't have access to a single person who would fully accept them. The world needs people who are not similar, but tolerant. People who may not be interested in something, but are willing to listen. The world really needs people to simply be open and non judgmental. To know that while someone talks, you are committed to understanding and not hearing. While this IS too much to ask. It is not difficult, it is not insane, infact it is what level headed individuals do. They listen and respond, not brand people as boring because we don't do the things they do. I am sorry world, but looks like we have a lot of time together and you can make me miserable and then see me become a better
person, or you can actively help me be feel accepted and truly wanted.

Just trying to be me!

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