Almost a metaphor, the Red nail polish is symbolic of my attitude towards relationships. I remember having this discussion with my mother not very long ago, where I told her I did not want to be married to a stranger. It made no sense. I had issues with the concept of marriage. I mean look at it -Meet someone, talk to them. Marry them. At least that's how I'd seen most people I know get married.All of them very much in love, now. I guess they were majorly in love even back then, I was just not seeing it.
When a few months ago, my mother told me to meet him, I agreed. I didn't expect anything actually. We sat there for a couple of hours talking about things, jobs, college and stuff. I was sure to convey that I didn't want to be married before I was sure. The only reason I was having this conversation was also because he said he wasn't sure either. It made sense to talk to the man who didn't want to be married (just like that)
To me marriage was scary as hell. Imagine going away to live with somebody else. Adjusting to another person. Living life. Sharing it. (Some might say that's the beautiful bit). To me it was scary. Why would you give up the 'good life' of doing whatever the hell you want? Why would I want change? Wasn't there enough already? You know what's the funny bit, EVERYBODY kept telling me marriage isn't bad and sadly I have a tendency to doubt everything people try to oversell.
Being a 25 year old woman in a marriage obsessed world is not easy. I have friends who married young telling me to be married. Friends who are much older than I am telling me to marry. Uncles, Aunts and just everybody. I wasn't sure why. And just last week, I got engaged and even now I get asked "So how did you decide?" and frankly, there's just no explanation. I just did. I'd never felt more sure about anything. Just like that
Yes. I'm engaged. For a little over 4 days. It's a good feeling. The gold band on my finger does feel foreign, I'm often just fiddling with it.