Monday, September 24, 2012

Happiness they say!

We are a world ‘trying’ to be different. We are very very similar people. Our fears our identical, our hopes are similar, our expectations are same. Yes, the way we express all these emotions may be completely different but we intrinsically hope for the same outcome. Happiness.
It is quite complicated to explain how we try to find happiness. Sometimes we want people, sometimes we don’t. We want meaningful relationships and sometimes we just want to have fun.  While each of these is a justified way to find the elusive happiness, it truly does take some real effort to see what makes us happy. Sadly, if we found our key to happiness, our definition of humans- as the universe’s playthings changes. May be that is why some considerable force beyond us keeps us worried, unhappy and stressed out.
What we really want is a moment of peace, but no! There is a constant need to find answers; just while one question is answered another question pops up. To people like me, who are comfortable with answers only, this wanting answers policy in life drives us crazy.  Its 22 years and I’m still a complicated nut case with very little clarity. Often I tell myself it is going to be okay. But I still need to know how. What I can do to make it perfect.  
When you take complete responsibility for your life, you feel like you need to do everything right.  I envy those who have direction and admire those who have let everything to chance. Life is sorted. This false sense of control is a major deceiver. It lets you think you are in control of your destiny when in fact you are in anything, but control.
To put it quite simply, Happiness is that elusive butterfly that flies by you, often touches you and the rest of the day you are wishing that butterfly would hang around. I wish I had the answers; the truth is I don’t have answers, I have squat on my life, actually like Raj says. I wish I had squat. All I have is a bunch of ideas and no way of knowing if I will actually see any of it comes to life. My wishes are like those kids who wish Santa got them specific presents for Christmas, they get presents, but not the ones they asked for, so they are not sure whether to be happy or sad!   (It is in absolutely depressing parallel to draw, but I have none that quite justify how I feel)

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