Wednesday, April 16, 2014

No. Say that NO.

Often I've realised we end up with more than we bargained for and often I've also realised that we could almost just as easily have avoided it. I don't know if you call it a people pleasing or if you just call it my inability to say no to people, I find it overwhelming to say 'I don't want to do it'. And off late I've realised that people do it all the time.

My saying yes, was in someways making me vulnerable to people and situation I didn't not want to be a part of. I wasn't ready to let anyone make me do things I didn't want to, one day I decided that it is okay that I lose out on people and situations, may be I do but at least I won't have to live with having done something I had no intention of doing anyway.

Again, it's always easier to say no to the big things. It's the little things that sap your energy that require saying no to. There's something more important than saying no to people, there is something called saying no to yourself. Telling yourself that something need not be done. You aren't obligated to do them.

Things I've said no to

  1. Depending on people to determine my happiness; I'm people centric. But i realized that people can make you happy only if you allow them to. Happiness is a state of mind, one that you have some control over. I refuse to let people make me sad. Make me happy? of course they're welcome.
  2. I said no to eating Maggi. 5 months and counting. It's not healthy. It's not.
  3. I said no to leaving books half way. I read all the time, but I have a terrible habit of leaving books half way and getting distracted by other books. I said no to that.
  4. I said no to being put into a corner. I will stand up and I will not back down. I might do a terrible job at standing up, but I wont go down without a fight. 
  5. No to weight gain. I started skipping. I don't "need" to be in shape, I want to be shape. I want to skip the rope.
  6. I said no to trying to be it all and do it all. Nope. Not happening. Perfection can wait for when I'm dead and gone. 
  7. I said no to compromise on what I believe in. I will not compromise on what I believe even if it screws me over. Which it has.
  8. I said no to unnecessary drama. Zero interference in people's personal life.My personal philosophy on this front is to never ask that which is not told.
  9. I said no to plans that I know won't unfold. It's not being pessimistic. It's being realistic; it is wrong to say I'll do something I cannot do. I'd rather tell you now that a holiday in Goa is out of question in May than play along to see where it goes.
  10. I said no to being busy. I've played the busy card one too many times and I've been on the I'm busy end of things. I realised that if I continued being 'busy'. I'd ruin every relationship I've nurtured so far. Having said that I've said no to being available. No, it's not a bad thing. You need to find your own time. for me it is 2 in the night, for someone else it may be 10 in the morning. Stop being 'available'. You need to be available to yourself. It's the only rational thing to do.  

6 comments:

  1. so many things u hav followed by saying no to urself are on my list too! bt i dont hav a strong mind to follow it :( n i suck at saying no to people too! ask me a few times n i jst give in!

    http://swathishenoy.blogspot.com/
    a-z participant

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  2. No No NO .....I wrote a post on the same topic "NO".

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  3. I loved your 'No' list. It sounds similar to mine. :)

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  4. My husband tells me I have to learn to say NO! Good Post.

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  5. Yes! This is great advice to all of us.
    Moondustwriter

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  6. You go girl, I too agree with your view. My post for N was No too! Take a look......
    http://inderpreetkaur.blogspot.in/2014/04/no-its-yes.html

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