When I travel home, I am by myself, I like being by myself keeping up late night staring out of the window believing that the moon follows my window. It's quiet. A tiny light shimmering above my head as I read pages. The otherwise sick reading in moving vehicles Maggie transforms. I become different.
Even on the trips I'm with family I like taking introspective breaks, of course ones that happen by accident. I always go back to that beach in Goa, about 6 of us were sitting but each quieter than the other. The silence was fragile everyone was scared of saying a word in the fear that breaking it would mean losing out on one of the best things in life. The waves quietly crashing. Some humming, someone playing a track or two in the back. All a blur. Someone even cried because that kind of silence is hard to come by.
I go back to a family vacation I took, we were walking though the beautiful hilly Ooty, it was to die for. All of us just assumed a natural 'sssh'. I love talking these trips.
Every time I head home, I get excited about getting home but more importantly about sitting in the bus for 7 hours straight. It's a nightmare for many, but not me. I yearn for that kind of dedicated sitting where you have no option but to sit. There is something insanely satisfying about getting out of the train/bus at 3 in the morning and walking out even if it is for a few minutes. I'm not a great sleeper either. But everyone else is.
I read this somewhere "There is no better philosophy lesson than the window seat in a bus" couldn't agree more.
I like trips and I like trips with family and friends, but I need to be left alone for some part of the day. I'm not cut out for high energy endless happenings. I love to read my book. I love to listen to music. I like to walk the streets. I need to do these things. Apart from all this philosophical whatever, I need to have absolute control or none at all. I can't have it half way. Kills me to not be sure. Sure that I know everything or that I know nothing. So do I travel with people, mostly yes. Do I travel with myself? Yes.