Do the mature thing. Start being a 5 year old!

As a 20 something old person I thought didn't connect to a 5 year old, and for that matter I thought I wasn't great with kids because I have a high headed opinion that I am somehow more complex, more evolved may be. (Yes, you can LOL).

But given that growing up is the only option you have, it becomes quite evident that you have to look for a positive side to things. Oh! Yes, I am all about staying positive.Yes, that was heavy sarcasm. I've said it before, I am saying it now, growing up isn't that big a deal. growing up is essentially being 5 years old. The "problems" are scaled to say a 20 something plus thing. So the essential dilemma still remains all the same, for instance Am I eating because I'm hungry or my mother is stuffing it in my face? scale it to 20 years, it's still the same, Am I eating because I'm hungry or am I eating because you know it tastes unhealthy and thus must be good.

But it isn't that bad either, hell! It's awesome. Yes, I am saying it because that's the only thing that makes it tolerable. But growing up and by growing up I don't mean being 20 something, I mean finding something you identify with. Something you call your own. See, the problem is, people go through a lot of their life without ever feeling passionate or driven about it and one fine day they realize they've missed out on a bunch of things. Your job is not a definition of who you are and you cannot identify with your job alone. That's stupid. It's pretty much what any adult will say; if you have nothing outside of your job there is probably nothing to love about your job either.

There are good things about growing up, other than eating at 3 in the morning and finishing an entire cake by yourself. There is the internet and if you're lucky, high speed internet too! It doesn't matter if you like cake or chocolates or the internet(how can you not?) but the point is that you have the option, as a kid it's a privilege you don't have and as an adult, many nights will pass as you sit and eat that slab of chocolate at 3 in the morning. While you think of a great deal of things, all of which you want to think of. Remember growing up means telling people what you think, having opinions, having questions, you get to see a lot of the world in a way that is your own, nobody tells you want to say or do. Nobody dictates terms if you don't want them dictated. You have a unique kind of freedom that you will appreciate only if you have to give it up.Wait. But that's what every five year old does as well.

Okay, I cannot lie. No! growing up according to society's definition is as messed up as it gets. Unrealistic expectations placed on you to taking away all sense of self. It's like having a constant check from an invisible entity who doesn't care who you are or what you grown into! But it's not the same for a 5 year old You are curious. You are brilliant and you don't let people take that away from you. Please stay that way! I can only hope

What  really mean by growing up is probably this, to grow up means to discover your 5 year old self, look, the world is a bad bad place. It is sad and depressing. It is full of ridiculous rules and not one of which make sense. The world is full of hate and violence. None of which are a part of a 5 year olds life, may be we need that, We need to rediscover humanity as understood by a 5 year old. I eat, I sleep, I read, I do what I like, I cry if I'm upset, I laugh if I'm happy. I don't hate, I don't care about shit that doesn't matter. We need to look around us and want to have the hope. Want to say "I want to be a rocket scientist". May be growing up really means, I have the internet and I want to use it for the right things. I have a slab of chocolate but I will eat it... whenever, 5 year kids lose to me on this one. I've agreed to everything kids do and I approve of it. I am not letting go of my chocolate privilege.

So really is it growing up? or growing back?. I have always hated being judgmental and so had a lot of my friends. But as we grew up, I realised everyone was measuring each other by standards they had. Suddenly a few years later and as the growing back had started, it felt oddly nice to be so free from the burden of judgement! Mine and others. I didn't need to care about what people thought about my clothes or my hair, I didn't care about theirs either. I made friends, good friends who were in the same place I was in, tired of judgments that others passed on them. I felt connected because for once we were connecting a people. Much like a group of 5 year olds, united by our love for something. Together because we we're together, there was no concept of being friends for a reason! It was genuine, there was no pretense, there was friendship. That's all. The adult world is full of people who are friends for reasons.

In the adult world a lot of things are hard to come by, happiness, satisfaction, love, hope, faith, equality and all of that. Because what we adults do isn't even what we want to do. What we do isn't even taking us towards those glorious warm fuzzy feelings of satisfaction, love, care. We complain, that's want we adults do. But of we applied the 5 year old logic, I think things would automatically fall in place. Things would be simple Don't over think, don't care, if it has nothing to do with you stop screwing it up, if you want something ask for it, make some noise get shit done! Of course this is easier said than done. And naturally I'm not great with this stuff either, because doling out advice even to yourself is far easier than actually doing it.

I have no qualms about growing up, I have no grief that I'm a 24 year old. I have a problem with why I'm not let to be a 24 year old.I think of a lot of adults quite enjoy having their jobs, their freedom, their life. I think what they have an issue with is why are they being hurried into learning the rules of the world when everything they ever needed was learned when they were 5! A 5 year old may not get my job, but surely if I behaved half as well as a five year old and with the qualification I do, I'm sure to be a lot happier than I am now. This obviously is advice to myself; I blog for the singular purpose of writing what I want.

I will call myself a grown up the day I discover the 5 year old in me. The same hope, the same twinkle in my eyes, the same joy of learning, nurturing aspirations, full of hope, love and faith. Till then I'll trying growing back. Putting back fragmented pieces of who I was and what I lost trying too hard to live by the rules.