“Ever been called a girl?”

This is a rant more than anything else.

As an independent woman you'd think people would give me some credit for being a woman! But No. I'm crazy like a woman but strong like a man. That's how bad things are. I'm the 'man' of the house. I'm never the woman in charge. Women may be appreciated for being strong and independent but that compliment always has a  very "like a guy" element. And no, I don't think it's an insult to be a man, but to not be able to respect a woman in her own right, that's humiliating. 

Yes, I shop for my house. Yes I can pick up a few heavy things. Yes, I am not scared of the dark And no, I'm not too worried about how my face looks. I like cricket, I read science fiction and history. Yes, But that still doesn't mean I'm ok with being told I'm like a guy; even as a compliment. Because these things you call "guy like" is not a 'male only' territory. It's the 21st century for god's sake! I can go out and do things for myself, by myself.  

No, it's not a compliment. It's not flattering to say strong like a man, smart like one because the opposite is not considered a compliment. Even the stereotypical stuff.. Guy who has multiple girlfriends “Casanova". Girl with multiple boyfriends (even if it is over a period of time) “Slut”… Ever heard of the “sensitive man?” No, that’s never a compliment. This person will be called a “wuss”. Men can’t be openly sensitive (Wuss)... I didn't want to say it, but an openly sensitive man is called a "woman".. Imagine my horror when people I know say "He is such a woman". And the rule for women? they can’t be openly insensitive (Ice queen). They can't not care. They just aren't allowed to not care. They must want to feel like all hell is breaking loose. Women will be looked down upon wanting things like a career before kids, wanting things like identity. What the hell? It's like women are required to be meek and submissive as a rule. It’s like a gender rule. God help that woman who wants to be herself.

People from both genders are punished for having traits that ‘belong’ to the other gender. All the men I've met in my life will have never experienced a form of flattery where they are seen as "feminine". Ask a man "Have you ever been compared to a quality that a woman possesses that was intended as a compliment?" the answer is no. Ever been called smart like a women, or witty as a woman? Ever been called deep and insightful as a woman? Nope. Women themselves are not seen as bearing these qualities. Forget that.. Ever been called stylish like a women? NOPE. 

Women are seen as delicate, sensitive, fragile, crazy, confused, mysterious, chatty, gossipy, bitchy, caring, nurturing. Ask a woman how many times she’s been compared and complimented for doing fairly simple things that stereotypically men do.  I used to love watching cricket, but I got tired of being quizzed about it. But when I did well on questions, I got complimented. I get complimented for knowing basic GK. Ever seen a guy being complimented for that? Never. It’s like I am being rewarded for knowing things that I don’t need to know. Very patronizing. 

Somebody took a TV show suggestion from my male friend but not me because how could I possibly like anything a guy could like? I was later complimented for my excellent taste in TV Shows! (Ridiculous). Same thing happened with books. No! I don't read only romance and dream about being a princess.

While the compliments are not necessarily or directly aimed at calling me a guy, they are compliments for not being “girly". Ask a man if he’s ever got a compliment for being “less manly". Again, never.  

Oh! Don’t confuse me. The less girly ones face the wrath of not being girly. On multiple occasions it will be pointed out (by both men and women) that somehow as a consequence of not being girly she will not end up happy. I’m prime witness to this behavior.  Your liking certain things over others will make your life miserable, right from finding friends to fitting into social cliques you will have to prove yourself. 

Women have too much pressure to prove why they deserve to be treated equally and men have too much pressure to prove that they are not the weaker gender. It's a balance struggle. Women have been associated with so many negative traits that it has become impossible to compare anything about a man to a woman and mean it to be flattering. 

To end it “A caring man is a real man. He takes effort to be caring. He cares for his girlfriend or wife and child and society. He needs to be applauded. But a caring woman is just a woman. It should come to her naturally” That’s our expectation.