The last two days have changed a lot about me. I am still the same person, I am more assured, a little more secure may be and mostly a whole lot relieved. I believe something magical happens when you are on your own, when the only person you can hear is yourself. I needed that quiet time, that get away and the getting back to insanity. I took a random trip to Bangalore, anyone familiar with the capital city will know Bangalore is anything but quiet. But sometimes what you need is a lot of noise to get all the silence in you, out. I realised a few things, I hated the forced quietude, I needed to get away from monotony, I needed to simply indulge. I am no expert on therapeutic buying but i do believe something magical happens when you truly indulge in something.
I walked the streets I walked on, ate in the places I ate, stayed in the places I stayed at and I thought I was merely reminiscing the good times. I could not have been wronger! All of those things were replaceable.What I was really trying to do was make memories with people I had an amazing time with. I owe these people a great deal and they know I am ever indebted. I cling on to every memory I made in Bangalore, hopelessly wanting to go back in time and relive all of it. I know while that is not possible, I see myself doing this more often! I absolutely am positive about travelling half way across the world if I have to to meet these people! They mean the world.
I lived in bookstores in the last two days and it did wonderful things to me. I found my piece of heaven. I also found my piece of heaven when I sat at Forum, when I aimlessly followed dancers on the street (not as creepy as it sounds), when I sat at Matteo with my best friend Swati, when I almost cried when I hugged her! My heaven was walking into Crystal Rock and seeing my friend and confidante Zainab, Pooja laughing and Padmaja being ever so sweet to me, it was like the good old times when I sat on the couch and pulled Priya's legs (here I criticized Bol Bachan), I felt amazing when I plopped on that couch. It was brilliant when I randomly broke into a conversation about life with my ex- roomies! Bangalore is a big deal, mostly because I know people, I could really live there. My heart is Bangalored only because of the people I know!
I could find a bookstore with better character, chaats with better flavor, cafes with better coffee, places more picturesque. But never friends more original. I love my friends and while all of them live away I love each of them dearly, I really regret every friend I am not in touch with, but some relationships don't work. I gave up on them;easily. But with my life in Bangalore there is more than Bangalore to part with. If I were to make a list of things and people and place I could never part with Bangalore, Bookstores and my Buddies from Bangy are up there.
I could go on about how independence is amazing and how being able to do my thing are truly important, but in retrospect if I did not have these people I really have no appreciation for that Independence. What they gave me is pretty spectacular and I am my over -thinking self but hell! I think it is these people who give me so much.
Rumi said "If you look for faultless friends, you will be friendless"
My friends were definitely not looking for faultless when the befriended me!