Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Vacating the nest, bye bye dear Erie. We wish you well.

All birds, no matter where they come from have to some day leave their nests. After about a year, it was time for us to leave Erie. Say our farewell to the place that gave me so many memories. Everyday brought me so many new lessons, experiences and a general sense of self. I owe the city, I do. The next few posts are going to about leaving home, moving countries and how I got back to my normal schedule once back in my Bangalore.

In the month of September, we decided we were moving for good. We didn't want to live anywhere away from the family and that was always a given. There was no debate, we just had to pick the date and we were going to land. Home turf. But leaving home is easier said than done.

I remember going through so many thoughts, one of them was excitement. I would be back, I would get to see my family after forever. I had picked up a bunch of gifts for everyone and I couldn't wait before I saw all of them. My niece and nephews had grown up and I wanted to see that. I wanted to see my mum. I couldn't wait for 26 September!

Here is the weird thing though, after the excitement settled down, I was going through, a sort of home sickness. I was home sick for my home in Erie. Like I told you in my first post, would I call America home? Turns out, I did. I had invested so much time and love and I had grown fond of the space and I was in denial that I had to leave.

The movers were to come on the 22nd and even then, I was debating whether I wanted to pack for good. I couldn't bring myself to part with everything I had collected. From the silly paper bunny that the previous tenant's daughter had made to the paper flowers I made. I FELT LIKE I WAS LEAVING TOO MUCH BEHIND. I really wasn't. Now that I think of it.

I still remember, I cried the whole time I was packing. It feels funny, but that's the truth. I packed everything from that house, even the tiny rocks I collected. It was weird, I flashbacked to the memories of my wedding day, a few days leading up, I was packing to move homes and it made me jittery, then I packed to move countries, that made me jittery and now I was moving back that was also making me anxious. I wonder what that means? I guess, I realised I get too emotionally invested. I never let go and frankly, I cling on to every last bit of that memory as I can.

After we were all packed and sorted, I packed my clothes. The house looked empty. It felt colder. It felt so much emptier, I guess. Homes are such a strong emotion. It's 4 walls adorned with everything you love that really makes it your own.

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I wanted to go on, but I guess tearing up every time I write will make everyone uncomfortable.


  1. Oh, dear I know the feeling! I hate shifting and leaving behind places with so many memories.....it is really difficult but also a necessary aspect of moving on. And Erie did sound like a wonderful nest you had made of!
    @KalaRavi16 from

  2. *passes you some tissues* *hugs*
    I guess it's like: Even if you stay in some place for a temporary span, you have to get attached to it. A little bit of you, a little piece of your heart remains glued to the walls. Try as you might to peel it off, it won't come away. It's the glue of love and affection and memories.
    All I know about staying in a place other than home is the little vacations that I have had with family. Even then, it feels a little weird stepping into home after the vacation. You are happy, but you are sad too.
    A weird collage of feelings, isn't it?

  3. Erie had become your home away from home and with so many wonderful memories attached to it, leaving it for good had to tug at your heartstrings.
    {Hugs} dear, I've been in your shoes and I know how it feels like.


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